Archive for August, 2007

BOY!!! She couldn’t find it immediately, actually not at all from above, but then she saw he was butt down, and said, let’s try it vaginally although it will look freaky, cause the baby is so big now. Well, there sitting practically on the u/s wand was a set of bal*s and a tiny tiny penis 🙂

It’s soooo amazing. Honestly, I’d be happy with either one, but since I was a little girl I wanted 3 boys and a girl… boys first, so let’s see!!

We told big man’s mom, dad and brother, and wouldn’t you know it they all asked if it was healthy ( unlike the last one.. ) mean , that was 2+ years ago, and i know they care, but why would we call and tell IF it was sick right?? I hate that it’s something that stays with people in their mind forever you know.. it’s bad enough it’s in our mind and hearts.

Thank you for all the support, let’s hope we continue to go forward in this positive way!!!

17w today!!!


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It’s about 1.5 hrs till we go to the dr for our 16+ week u/s. I know we are hearing the heartbeating, but i just don’t feel pregnant, so i worry. I hope we can see the sex, and right now, it’s not important. What IS important is that it’s growing on time etc.. Fuck I am nervous. I hate this feeling. I just hate feeling so helpless. I hope it all goes okay!

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I have no real reason to I suppose. We hear pupo’s heartbeat galloping daily and it’s reassuring. I am just too busy comparing myself with those other ‘ladies’ on message boards that claim to feel the baby move from week 10 onwards. Where as the American Pregnancy Org says the average is 22+ weeks.

You can see how one can feel like an underachiever in the mommy dept. My baby won’t move damn- it and that sucks! NO, I have to correct that. My baby moves a lot, BUT I can’t feel it!

Plus we told grandpa he will be a great- grandpa. He is 80, and 100% with it still, which is great. His reply ‘ what again?’ You see my 18 year old cousin knocked up his 17 year old gf 4 years ago. Their ‘punishment’–twins and a miserable marriage.

So, despite being the the first grandchild for him, i failed to produce their first great-grandchild.  I’m not bitter.. seriously. I had some great years of TRYING to make a baby- much that nobody knows, so it’s not for lack of trying we didn’t get pregnant.

But, that’s that. Maybe cause more people know I’m getting nervous. We have our next u/s in one week and 2 days. Then I HOPE we can see the sex. Fingers crossed I don’t loose my mind before then.

Take care all 5 of you!! 🙂


15 w 4 d

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14w 4d

Just humming along. I have checked all the boards I list on this site and a vast majority of those great ladies are either pregnant or just had the baby.. see there is hope for everyone. I know sometimes it doesn’t seem like there is any hope at all, but I believe in it.

I had a shitty day yesterday. I had a kind of crisis. I am writing my thesis, and need to be done by Nov-ish, and that is going NO WHERE at the moment. Then I got all panicky about what happens after pupo comes into this world. What will I do with my day! How could i possibly occupy myself all day.

Then comes the fat thing.. how fat i already feel. I don’t ‘show’ although there is something hard under the flab, but I just don’t want to become the size of a house. And, that my friends is very possible. I am actually considering joining a freaking weight watchers group when pupo comes. Who the fuck knows. Maybe for the social contacts along WW might actually be cathartic.

Then the panic over money. We have none. I haven’t worked since June. Looks like I will get some more work in September, but that seems eons ways.

What else.. oh that i just started hating people. I went to the bank, and a cunt with this little dog on her lap just wouldn’t stop staring at me. Okay, yes i look fat and yes, i’m a gothy fat one, but still… i went right into her face and said, in english ( doubt she understood me ) ‘ Didn’t your mom tell you it isn’t polite to stare’ damn!

Oh and at another store two teenage-whore-bitches were laughing and pointing at me as i walked by, i smiled, then flipped them off. I have issues!

I just hate stupid idiotic  people. And i was in a bad mood.

Oh and i tripped, fucking up two toes on my left foot. There goes the treadmill time, out the window.. fuck fuck fuck.

I did do some weights yesterday, which made me feel better. 25 min of arm exercises. Today.. arms hurt; GOOD!

Other than that, we listen to pupo and count the beats ( about 150) twice a day! I love hearing that little heartbeat. We still haven’t told many.

The next u/s a.k.a. what sex is this pupo exam will be in nearly 3 weeks. I hope they can find out by then, but if not, then we will see it at 20 wks.. we hope 🙂

That’s all, thanks again to the 8 of you keeping tabs on me!



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2 hr glucose test..

So, this morning was my glucose test. It wasn’t that bad. I had this image of these sticky syrup to drink.I was starving, but my 10 hr fasting number was 5.0 which was good. The limit was 5.5.

Then I drank a bottle of this glucose stuff, which really tasted just like a coke. It was yummy even, refreshing, since it’s been over 80′ here. Then the waiting.. the waiting… 1 hr. They tested again and it was just 5.5, upper limit is 11.0. So, I hardly went up at all, which still worries me, but they said it was normal enough.

Then one more hour of waiting for the next prick test, which was 4.9 limit was 9.2, so not too bad for a big girl, whose mom and everyone else has diabetes. I was happy, but that middle number could indicate my stomach isn’t emptying good enough or something.. I dunno.

I then went to the midwife, that doesn’t speak English and tried to describe this, she asked the doctor ( who also doesn’t speak English ) and came back with a very good!… i dunno. I think it’s fishy.

Then since I was there, we listened to pupo, who we listen to at home twice a day anyway, but it was so loud and strong. 150 bpm, which was nice and it sounded so galloppy. Is that a word?

Okay that’s all for now,



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During an hour’s swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/2
litre of urine.

In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact
with 15 penises (touching door handles etc.)

An average person’s yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic

In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects – while you slept!

Annually, you will shake hands with 11 men who have recently
masturbated and failed to wash their hands.

In a lifetime, 22 nosey workmen doing work in your home will have
examined the contents of your dirty laundry basket.

At an average wedding reception you have a 1/100 chance of getting
a cold sore from one of the guests. (Mouth herpes.)

Daily you will breathe in 1 litre of other peoples’ anal gases.

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Answer is NO.. i will ask big man to help!– CONCLUSION   ticker works for nearly every site on the net,BUT this one! Apparently it’s just not safe.. Bullshit.. oh well!

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