Archive for the ‘2nd trimester’ Category

So everything went well yesterday. It ended up being a 3 hr apt but it went well. they had to switch machines to get more body part details, but so far all looks okay- one is for sure a boy and according to a specialist that came in to double check, the other a girl!they found a clit ha ha.. good for her!

the whole time eicca’s day care kept calling.. he was puking there and they freaked, so big man had to leave me early at the end.. but it was a good apt-next one in 4 wks. the estimate they are each bout 14ounces, or 400g.

I can only imagine how frustrating it was for the doctors doing the very specific and details ultrasound of the babies body parts to hear me in very broken Finnish try to explain to the day care workers that yes, Eicca can puke 6x in 2 hrs and be totally normal.. of course they dont belive that because ‘normal’ children as they said, do NOT puke that often.. oh my.. we are so far fucking away from normal, i cant even see the city limits signs. Alas, our bank apt had to be canceled, and big man took an entire day off for basically 2 free ultra sound hours, but that’s life.

thats all for now, hope u r all well, take care!


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So, its a new year, and where can i start.  Firstly, the defrosting of 6 embryos resulted in just 2. Seriously just 2 and they have a defrosting rate of 80% and that broke my fucking heart. How can we loose 4 really good looking embryos? In any case the 2 beautiful embryos that were transferred were enough and surprise surprise.. stuck! We are now 20 weeks pregnant with twins! Yep.. twins.. and for those of you on facebook.. no open congrats please, as we are planning on surprising the shit out of our friends by posting birth pictures.. so SHHHHH.

I’m doing fine. Lots of vomiting and nausea for about 17 weeks, even while walking to town, had to stop to puke a few times, which in -10’F weather isn’t ideal, but eh.. what can you do?

Our angel eicca.. oh he is learning so much, but alas his weight isnt increasing. He will be 2 in a few weeks, 2 weeks and he has gained exactly one pound all year! It’s heartbreaking and we just don’t know what to do, but he is starting to feed himself a bit. He even ate tortilla chips at a restaurant over xmas and enjoyed a bit of sushi rice from our traditional Christmas sushi, so there is ‘some’ improvement.

Last week was hard, after the weigh in i took him back to daycare where there were 2 new kids, a 14 mo old and an 18 month old both giant tanks of children. Walking, and enormous. I came home and cried and cried.  Then when i picked him up at 3 and they said he didnt eat a bite all day, i for the first time in months got very angry with him and threw his food. It’s shameful, it’s been MONTHS since i’ve let myself get THAT upset with him.

He cried and cried and when i picked him up he just hugged me. the biggest hug ever and didnt let me go.. i’m a crap mom. I just want my boy to be healthy. that’s all i ever wanted, for this amazing creature who is my whole world. I just break thinking of him, not being what he can be because of his infantile anorexia.

And thoughts go to the twins and how they might be like this too, and how oh how will i survive? I know i can, i have to, but how is the question i have now. Not to mention i have read on my multiples board of people loosing one twin and then the so very touching and well acted desperate housewives episode 6, 11 where lynette looses one twin. The whole scene was brilliantly done. From the feelings she goes through when she imagines him disabled, to the look on her face when he asks for a sandwhich, to he r wanting to pick up the mostard.. it was a very well played scene, only to end in her hearing the baby was lost. Just heartbreakingly well done.

We also gave our beloved puppy, well, 6 year old black lab, mikko to a loving family. They live far in the south but they are in their late 20s, no kids in a big house and have lots of love and time to give. We have neglected the sweet dog enough, and although he was eicca’s best buddy, we know it’s for the best, for mikko could not get the attention he deserves now, and it would be even less when the twins arrive.

We have had some mixed reactions to the announcement of the twins.  Some people are elated, some eh.. not so much. My aunt had the audacity to tell my mom that i must have ‘done something’ as twins don’t just happen, even though her own son and his gf had twins when they were just 19 years old…that just happened.. but we are not open with out fertility treatments,maybe never will be, and that is our choice, but the fact that she planted that seed. bitch. Not to mention she hasnt come out to congratulate us, on fb, or email or otherwise, nor have her daughters, my cousins. Big man’s brother too, hasn’t been jumping for joy.. and it makes me laugh really. All these not too jubilant  people live millions of miles away in california or holland and really their lives have been hardly effected by the arrival of eicca, and won’t be too disturbed by the twins, so what the fuck gives? why cant we just be happy for family’s sake?

That’s all right now in a nutshell. I have my big ultra sound on the 13th. Would love to find out the sexes and see that they are both okay. I’m getting huge, already gained 10kg, or 22lbs and i gained just 12kgthe whole pregnancy with eicca, but eh.. what can i do.

take are all of you, few people reading this.. take care!

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Had my 24 wk update with the private doctor we love. It was great. She confirmed that it is indeed a boy, and a healthy one at that 🙂 He wasn’t cooperating with pictures at all and kept his hands on top of his head, but we got some nice feet and hand as well as penis shots….put em together and you’ve got our baby 🙂

Next u/s will be at 28 weeks and she will ‘try’ to get the 3D machine. There is only one in our town and it’s over 300 dollars for that kind, but she was going to ask if she can use it for training 🙂 Let’s hope.

He’s also 600 grams which is about 1 lb 3 ounces so right on target. Sooo happy to see the little guy moving around.. even IF i can’t really feel him. She also said not to worry, it can take up to 28 weeks or longer because of the front placenta. But, we are still so excited and just happy that he is measuring okay and looking great!

All the best to everyone!

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I am working on my thesis at the moment and my final seminar was canceled today. I love my tutoring teacher, he is just a great, cool guy. One that really listens and believes in reading as much as you can to learn, not just one single author or topic. He has always been just a great person.

I heard from my opponent he was out all week,and i couldn’t get a hold of him at all. Then this morning he phoned me. He explained he couldn’t come to my seminar today and if I could go there and tell the others it was canceled. I recently told him I was pregnant and remember so clearly when I was pregnant the first time over 2 years ago, HE was one person I WANTED to tell, but didn’t. In hindsight since that baby didn’t make it passed 9 weeks, I am glad I didn’t say much to anyone, but still.. that’s how this teacher means to me.

He explained to me that he is fine and healthy, but that his wife died on Tuesday. I immediately burst into tears. I just didn’t expect that. I can’t imagine it. He opened up ( which is strange for a Finn) that she died of cancer and it was expected, and that they had over 30 years together. He did seem sad though that he was here when she died, and she was about 3 hrs away in their hometown with their daughter.

I never asked or understood why he lives here all week and goes home just on the weekends, especially I think of that knowing how sick she must have been.

I just felt sad all day. I walked a lot, no music needed. The weather is chilly and nice at about 32’F and just crisp and clear. A nice day for thinking. A day for really appreciating what we have.

I look at my husband, and think of all we have been through, not just this infertility. That has been a big part. An unexpected part, a part that isn’t over, even if I am pregnant NOW, and think of how many years we could have left. I think of all those people in unhappy relationships- wasting time I always think. I think of those people who never get to find love at all, and how lucky those of us are who have love in our life.

All in all, I think of Ismo and his family.  I’d like everyone to know how lucky they are, and to just look around and look at that.. even if it isn’t your ideal world. It’s yours and you are the only one who can change it.

I am obsessed with Nick Cave’s cd, No more shall we part. I think that says enough. There are songs on there, like love letter and I sat sadly by her side that are just heavenly.

Take care everyone and enjoy your weekend.

~~ regina 23wks 1 day pregnant

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Hi there,

Had the ob apt today, fucking hell I gained 6.6 lbs in 4 weeks. How the fuck is that possible? I have gained about 10 lbs so far, which isnt’ bad that I am half way, but being ‘obese’ i should only gain 15 lbs total, so how the fuck is that supposed to work eh?

ALso, she helped make my birth plan.. oh fuck me. i mean firstly one dr she said would do the epidural with the tattoo the other won’t and we of course don’t know who we get that day i go into labor.. yippee..

Then the apisiotomy thing.. you GOTTA tell me those been there done that people..  how did you  it.. did you have the epidurals did you get cut or tear ( fucking hell! ) and i wonder how people do this whole baby thing.

I was totally not stressing the birth.. till today.. there is just too much info.. HELP!

gonna go, write soon

p.s. walked 6 miles today!

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Today I went to big man’s work for lunch. He works at the uni and they have cheap, good lunches there. Lunch was fine then a former colleague came in with her 10 month boy.. then some one else joined us, and before I knew it we were being congratulated left and right.

I love attention dont get me wrong, but it’s just really scary having everyone saying things to us. It’s nice, really nice, but now i feel the pressure. If something should go wrong, and Goddess forbid, then the pressure is on. Everyone knows.. really it’s getting to where everyone knows. We will be okay.. we’re just nervous…

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Here you all go, our little guy, in his fuzzy glory! Enjoy!

Pupo at 20 weeks

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